As men we all have a natural tendency to lie. We don’t mean to, we aren’t being nasty. It’s just that is in our genes. We also have learnt over the years that lying is often the best course of action. It saves everyone from getting hurt.
It starts at an early age, when asked “Have you done your homework?” the answer you soon learn to give is yes. Your mother doesn’t get in a flap, do don’t get beaten when father comes home and you can go and play footie down the park.
As you get older and start measuring up – you always add on the extra inch.
Then when the wife asks “Does my bum look big in this?”
You don’t tell the truth. Not unless you want to be wearing your balls as ear rings.
Let’s face it, when we are down the pub with our mates the last thing you are going to do is be honest. Your salary suddenly goes through the roof and the number of women you have slept with suddenly gains an extra zero.
Then comes the time when you visit the doctors.
“Height?” – you add on two extra inches.
“Weight?” – you amazingly lose 7 pounds in an instant.
“Do you smoke?” – “No” comes out your mouth, so much sweeter than “Yes."
“Number of alcohol units a week?” - you pretend he said “day.”
And so it goes on.
Then at some point in your life you need to be honest.
Not with your mates – they can continue to believe you work for MI6.
Not with you wife – she can continue to believe she has the best legs you have ever seen.
And not even with your doctor – he knows you’re a lying bastard anyway.
You need to be honest with yourself!
This is very important if you are embarking on a weight loss journey. The first step of admitting you have a problem and that you need to take action is the hardest. If you weigh eighteen stone, then I’m afraid you weigh eighteen stone. Accept it as a starting point and something that you are going to improve on.
You can tell your mates you weigh 15 stone 8 – keep lying to them so long as you know and believe the truth.
Honesty is also very important when you start looking at your diet. You need to look at everything you are eating! My father, a fellow big bloke, comes home from work saying he hasn’t eaten today and he genuinely means it. He forgets about the 10 biscuits, two sausage rolls, pork pie and packet of crisps. In his mind if he hasn’t sat down with a knife and fork then it doesn’t count!!!!!!
You also need to be honest about your drinking. The best way is to write it everything down. If you write down everything that does into your mouth then you can start to see just how much you are consuming.
You need to be honest about the amount of exercise you are doing – a two hour session on the X-box doesn’t count I’m afraid. Again, write it down over a period of time. Is it really as much as what you thought?
Finally you need to be honest about the way you are feeling. Are you happy at the moment with your present size? Or are you really bloody depressed and eating yourself into an early grave?
A great why to start being honest is to leave a comment to this article. Put a new post telling the world everything .Guess what? No one knows who the hell you are, no one can see you, why not let it all out.
In short lie to whoever you want – your friends, your wife, your doctor.
Just don’t lie to yourself.
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Monday, 27 April 2009
Rod Liddle's Piece in the Sunday Times
Mr Rod Liddle wrote a small piece regarding the "fat tax" in the Sunday Times this week.
Such was the offensive nature of the piece I felt compelled to write to the editor.
Such was the offensive nature of the piece I felt compelled to write to the editor.
Fat Chance of Success
The budget airline Ryanair has recently announced that it is looking into ways to implement a “fat tax” on its larger passengers. As a larger passenger myself, I should be appalled and disgusted at what appears at first glance to be a hugely discriminatory measure, but maybe the airline has sound reasoning on its side?
Like any good business in the present financial climate, Ryanair is looking for ways to reduce its costs. Ryanair’s website states that over 100,000 of its passengers voted for a number of “cost reduction ideas”. The idea of the “fat tax” came in at number one, charging customers for toilet paper came in at number two, a fee in order to smoke in private cubicles sneaked into third followed by a subscription fee for its website and a £2 fee to bring your own food onto the aircraft. Now unfortunately, before this idea even gets off the ground, we stumble upon a problem. Not one of the five “ideas” is actually a “cost reduction” measure. Each and everyone is an “income generation” idea, in other words a method to get more money out of the paying customer. Cost reduction ideas are schemes like staff reduction, freezing executive bonuses, cutting back on the company cars and slightly less champagne after board meetings.
That point aside, over 30,000 of the 100,000 people voted in favour of the “fat tax”, a number that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. In today’s society there is a no more stigmatised and repulsed group of people than the “fatties”. Driven by the media generated image of fat, stupid, lazy people who are supported by the state and draining the NHS of all its resources: the public are actually beginning to hate the obese. The only reason that the “fax tax” didn’t gain more than 30% of the vote is that currently in the UK over 50% of the population are overweight and a further 20% are obese, any more votes and us “fatties” would be have been voting to tax ourselves.
Now to be fair, Ryanair is not actually stupid enough to be proposing a “tax” that will hit 70% of its passengers. It is suggesting that the “fat tax” should only apply to the “very largest passengers”. The airlines valued customers are now being asked who should fall into this category. Ryanair has offered four very different ways to classify this, one based purely on weight, one on waist measurement, one on Body Mass Index and the final one based on if you touch both arm rests when you sit down.
Certain people are advocating that the tax be applied purely on weight. The argument being that; the more weight the plane is carrying, the more fuel it uses, therefore higher costs and a greater impact on the environment. Now considering that the 737-800, the aircraft that makes up the bulk of the Ryanair fleet, has a maximum take off weight of 79,000kg. Is a man carrying an extra 10kgs really going to make a significant impact on the fuel consumption and therefore the survival of the planet? This method also fails to take into account the height of the passenger. Or the other important fact that is that the heaviest person on the flight might not be taking any luggage but skinny Mr Jones may have packed everything but the kitchen sink.
The second method for consideration is basing the tax on waist measurements. If you’re over a certain figure then I’m afraid you get nicked and hit in the pocket. The humiliation of passengers as they line up to be measured is a point that, unfortunately, can not be avoided. You may as well ask everyone to drop their trousers before entering the aircraft.
The third “solution” is to use Body Mass Index (BMI) as the gauge for the tax. Unfortunately BMI can, in certain cases, be a false indicator. International sportstars, for example, often have a high BMI measurement because of an increased of muscle mass. I’m sure these type of customers would be thrilled when presented with a “fat tax” bill
The only possible workable solution is option four, “Charging for a second seat if passengers’ waist touches both armrests simultaneously”. I agree that after paying money for our own seat we don’t want someone else encroaching on our personal space. However we also don’t want someone with body odour encroaching on our nostrils, or the loud, compulsive talker encroaching our ears – are we proposing charging them the appropriate “repulsion tax” as well? Even if we do agree that this method would seem fair, we are again faced with the possibility of large queues as we forced into a seat with everyone observing - willing your love handles to touch the arm rests.You simply can’t avoid the humiliation factor. The other issue that arises is that what if the aircraft is fully booked and you have five “fatties” on board that need extra seats? Who gets bumped? I think we know the answer.
There’s clearly a problem that needs addressing, but it’s not the question if fat people should be charged extra for flying. The real problem is the ever growing shadow of obesity, financial burdens and public humiliation of the obese is not the solution. For the “very largest passengers” that this offensively named “fat tax” is targeting, their obesity is not simply caused by reckless overindulgence and lack of exercise, but complex, underlying psychological issues. An emotional reliance on food is not easily broken. It is not like a dependency on drugs or alcohol, food can’t simply be abstained from. Humiliation and discrimination like this tax simply will cause obese people to not be willing to integrate and interact with the outside world. They will retreat further into their own insulated environment, free from prying eyes and hurtful comments. The numbers of these people are growing and growing rapidly, they need help, not humiliation.
Ryanair think that their “fat tax” proposal might actually help reduce obesity levels. In a statement they say “These charges, if introduced, might also act as an incentive to some of our very large passengers to lose a little weight and hopefully feel a little lighter and healthier.” With the greatest of respect to Ryanair, if some of the best minds in the western world haven’t been able to come up with a solution to the ever increasing obesity time bomb, will a budget airline be able to do any better? Until we come up with a real workable solution to obesity, maybe airlines should just get some bigger seats?
Like any good business in the present financial climate, Ryanair is looking for ways to reduce its costs. Ryanair’s website states that over 100,000 of its passengers voted for a number of “cost reduction ideas”. The idea of the “fat tax” came in at number one, charging customers for toilet paper came in at number two, a fee in order to smoke in private cubicles sneaked into third followed by a subscription fee for its website and a £2 fee to bring your own food onto the aircraft. Now unfortunately, before this idea even gets off the ground, we stumble upon a problem. Not one of the five “ideas” is actually a “cost reduction” measure. Each and everyone is an “income generation” idea, in other words a method to get more money out of the paying customer. Cost reduction ideas are schemes like staff reduction, freezing executive bonuses, cutting back on the company cars and slightly less champagne after board meetings.
That point aside, over 30,000 of the 100,000 people voted in favour of the “fat tax”, a number that doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. In today’s society there is a no more stigmatised and repulsed group of people than the “fatties”. Driven by the media generated image of fat, stupid, lazy people who are supported by the state and draining the NHS of all its resources: the public are actually beginning to hate the obese. The only reason that the “fax tax” didn’t gain more than 30% of the vote is that currently in the UK over 50% of the population are overweight and a further 20% are obese, any more votes and us “fatties” would be have been voting to tax ourselves.
Now to be fair, Ryanair is not actually stupid enough to be proposing a “tax” that will hit 70% of its passengers. It is suggesting that the “fat tax” should only apply to the “very largest passengers”. The airlines valued customers are now being asked who should fall into this category. Ryanair has offered four very different ways to classify this, one based purely on weight, one on waist measurement, one on Body Mass Index and the final one based on if you touch both arm rests when you sit down.
Certain people are advocating that the tax be applied purely on weight. The argument being that; the more weight the plane is carrying, the more fuel it uses, therefore higher costs and a greater impact on the environment. Now considering that the 737-800, the aircraft that makes up the bulk of the Ryanair fleet, has a maximum take off weight of 79,000kg. Is a man carrying an extra 10kgs really going to make a significant impact on the fuel consumption and therefore the survival of the planet? This method also fails to take into account the height of the passenger. Or the other important fact that is that the heaviest person on the flight might not be taking any luggage but skinny Mr Jones may have packed everything but the kitchen sink.
The second method for consideration is basing the tax on waist measurements. If you’re over a certain figure then I’m afraid you get nicked and hit in the pocket. The humiliation of passengers as they line up to be measured is a point that, unfortunately, can not be avoided. You may as well ask everyone to drop their trousers before entering the aircraft.
The third “solution” is to use Body Mass Index (BMI) as the gauge for the tax. Unfortunately BMI can, in certain cases, be a false indicator. International sportstars, for example, often have a high BMI measurement because of an increased of muscle mass. I’m sure these type of customers would be thrilled when presented with a “fat tax” bill
The only possible workable solution is option four, “Charging for a second seat if passengers’ waist touches both armrests simultaneously”. I agree that after paying money for our own seat we don’t want someone else encroaching on our personal space. However we also don’t want someone with body odour encroaching on our nostrils, or the loud, compulsive talker encroaching our ears – are we proposing charging them the appropriate “repulsion tax” as well? Even if we do agree that this method would seem fair, we are again faced with the possibility of large queues as we forced into a seat with everyone observing - willing your love handles to touch the arm rests.You simply can’t avoid the humiliation factor. The other issue that arises is that what if the aircraft is fully booked and you have five “fatties” on board that need extra seats? Who gets bumped? I think we know the answer.
There’s clearly a problem that needs addressing, but it’s not the question if fat people should be charged extra for flying. The real problem is the ever growing shadow of obesity, financial burdens and public humiliation of the obese is not the solution. For the “very largest passengers” that this offensively named “fat tax” is targeting, their obesity is not simply caused by reckless overindulgence and lack of exercise, but complex, underlying psychological issues. An emotional reliance on food is not easily broken. It is not like a dependency on drugs or alcohol, food can’t simply be abstained from. Humiliation and discrimination like this tax simply will cause obese people to not be willing to integrate and interact with the outside world. They will retreat further into their own insulated environment, free from prying eyes and hurtful comments. The numbers of these people are growing and growing rapidly, they need help, not humiliation.
Ryanair think that their “fat tax” proposal might actually help reduce obesity levels. In a statement they say “These charges, if introduced, might also act as an incentive to some of our very large passengers to lose a little weight and hopefully feel a little lighter and healthier.” With the greatest of respect to Ryanair, if some of the best minds in the western world haven’t been able to come up with a solution to the ever increasing obesity time bomb, will a budget airline be able to do any better? Until we come up with a real workable solution to obesity, maybe airlines should just get some bigger seats?
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